Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal.
Martin Luther King

I find it quite entertaining that mediation has finally made it to the world of television. The new USA Network television series Fairly Legal, centers on a female character, Kate Reed, who changes professions from lawyer to mediator. In the first hour of the series, she mediates three major conflicts in the matter of minutes with grace, wit and in high heels like any good super hero!

Although much of her technique is questionable and humorous, she has a central message that is clear. The law creates winners and losers. Mediation looks for the win-win in every conflict and pursues that goal until all can say yes. As Kate Reed will doubtlessly communicate through coming episodes, when we meet each other as fellow human beings, remaining curious and open to deeper understanding, we can respectfully negotiate a fair and equitable solution in the most difficult of situations. We can build bridges that lead to peace instead of walls that divide.

Peace is possible when you are willing to do the work of addressing the conflict. But most of us avoid conflict like the plague. Of the five distinct conflict modes described in the Thomas-Killman Conflict instrument, Avoiding is often the overwhelming natural preference for adults that we work with.

And why are peaceful interactions important to your organization, your life and your community? Here are three reasons to consider:

#1.  We live in an increasingly diverse world where an inability to deal well with differences can lead to conflict. Conflict is not good for teams or organizations and conflict unaddressed can lead to violence so easily and with such devastation. Just look at recent headlines for the proof.

#2.  Conflict creates the physical reaction of stress. When we are in situations where opinions vary, the stakes are high and decisions must be made, our stress hormones are on code red and systemic inflammation increases. If the conflict is habitual, you can develop multiple chronic inflammatory diseases. Conflict is not good for the body.

#3.  All successful organizations rely on loyal and satisfied staff and the respect of the communities they serve. We all want to be known as fair and generous citizens who can handle differences in productive and mutually acceptable ways. But sometimes we need help.

Mediation provides a neutral third party to facilitate the way forward. The mediator has the goal of creating greater peace amidst strife and of exploring possibilities for greater satisfaction in any situation. Mediation calls the best out of people through respectful conversation in the midst of difficult realities and often deep hurt and pain.

What makes mediation so powerful is that the parties involved are the decision makers. No law; no external force and no mediator determines the outcome. Those involved in the conflict find the way forward together. And each time we arrive at resolution or agreement, the world is a bit safer and more embedded in peace.

Our hope in The Reid Group is that through our lives and our work the world will know a little greater peace. We offer our support to you as you navigate the challenges to being a peacemaker in your home, work and world.

Carol Guenther
Senior Consultant, Mediator